Horoscopes

PISCES – February 19-March 20 This month is all about focusing less on the outcome and more on the journey. With Venus in your house of probabilities, you’ll likely encounter several circumstances that will be of concern.RULING GEMSTONE: AQUAMARINE ARIES – March 21-April 19 You’ve got it made. Make sure

CAPRICORN – December 22-January 19 The world moves pretty fast around you and you must learn to slow it down to a reasonable pace. Much of this can be done with a hefty broad-sword. You’re single. So what are you doing reading this when you could be out there having

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. SCORPIO – October 23-November 21 Your house of finance is having a flare-up. Keep a close watch on what you’re spending your money on. Also, 3 things: be supportive, honest, and slow to anger

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. VIRGO – August 23-September 22 This will be a VERY happy 2 months for you. After all, it is your birthday! And you know what they’ve been saying about that for a thousand of

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. LEO – July 23- August 22 Those born in “Leo” have a tendency to find themselves in trouble, they are as corruptible and they are powerful, and will seek to gain an advantage in

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. CANCER -June 22-July 22 You will be plagued by theological doubts today, and will flirt with the idea of changing your religion. Subconciously, this is because your envious of the really cool hats that

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. ARIES – March 21-April 19 You will have a secret rendezvous with a representative of a large foreign corporation. The password will be…”fling me a spicy burrito, Stanley”. Unfortunately you may have to say

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. PISCES – February 19-March 20 You will have a dream this month in which you are standing on the shore of an inky black river in grey twilight. An old man wearing a black

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. AQUARIUS – January 20-February 18 Smashing things up on a small scale will bring you joy this month. Use a pestle and morter like in science class, go for a hard 2 handed thump,

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. CAPRICORN – December 22-January 19 The truth is much harder to find than fiction. Don’t be afraid to spread damn dirty lies. This month, your seasonal destiny feels like the lowest berry on the

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. SAGITTARIUS – November 22-December 21 Don’t forget your towel today. I usually find I’m less likely to forget things if I wrap them around my head. Everyone has their own mnemonic tricks though. RULING

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. SCORPIO – October 23-November 21 A hive of naked mole rats will move in with you today. You will find that they are relatively tidy creatures, but that its a trifle difficult to explain

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. VIRGO – August 23-September 22 Jake Gyllenhall continues to be your lucky Hollywood megastar this month, especially when you are trekking through the cold glacial climes and you need to take off your top

These Horoscopes are meant to be fun and enjoyed. They should not be taken too seriously. LEO – July 23- August 22 Blues harmonica playing has never been better starred than this month, especially in impromptu nights spent in police cells. Embrace “flowery” people with open arms. RULING GEMSTONE: PERIDOT,