Memoirs of a MasseurTodd Pequeen


I woke up early today. The clock said 4:40. I am not a religious man but when I am in a creative artistic mood my mind does funny things. I have never done this before and I wouldn’t label myself as a religious man but I opened my laptop and typed in bible quote 4:40. The screen read “LUKE 4:40 While the sun was setting, all those who had any who were sick with various diseases brought them to Him; and laying His hands on each one of them, He was healing them.” I found it prophetic as I make my living through massage and the passion I have for my career is a central focus of my life. My intention of this article was going to be about the two pieces of paper I had removed from my refrigerator the night before. One says “Enough is a Feast” the other “When all of your wishes are granted many of your dreams will be destroyed.” To add to my intellectual material for this article today is my wedding anniversary and I am finishing a week-long cleanse that I do several times a year. The cleanse is my way to drop a few pounds, treat my body and mind with care, and to sharpen my senses. I am lucky enough to have my writing desk in a location that I can see the sunrise when it cracks the horizon and shortly after the scarlet macaws, toucans, parrots, and a variety of other birds take stage. At 50 years old I am almost brought to tears today, this morning my life seems so enchantingly rich and my level of gratitude is bursting at the seams.

I don’t tell this story much but I became a massage therapist because I literally had a vision to do so back in 1996. In a nutshell the fateful juncture came while I was in Japan (I used to teach English abroad). In that moment I was also on a very heavy cleanse called The Master Cleanse (Google it…10 days of no food) and I was in a public park simply enjoying my breath and watching a few dozen Japanese seniors doing tai chi. I somehow had a lightning bolt of electricity rattle through my mind and body that said, for lack of a better description, “turn your focus to massage.” To this day I am moved by that split second of my life and soon after I was back in New York State in massage school. Again, this nutshell version does not do the moment justice. Since that happened, over two decades have passed and through laying my hands and heart on people, most all of my wishes have been answered. I have more than I have ever dreamed of materially but most importantly my soul is content at a very young age. In this article I was going to explore what Enough is a Feast means to me and how I feel smiled on by fate or the gods or what not, but now I am running out of space, and it is all the same topic in the end. Life needs to be lived in a way that makes one whole, whatever that may be. In doing so most of the trivialness and mundanity of our life journey evaporates.

I started this morning, my morning with the intention of figuring out what I needed to do in order to get reinspired with my writing. In the course of wandering through thoughts of goodness I realized I’m doing it! The blessing of 4:40 that appeared effortlessly, the texts that are flowing in from friends and family wishing me a happy wedding anniversary, and finally figuring out that my Enough is a Feast is the overflowing love I already have in my life comforts me. I am exactly where I am meant to be as I begin the next 50 years of my life. The great Covid vacation actually gave me the time to think and reinvest in myself surreptitiously and to arrive at a new me. One where dreams become reality and that passion and discipline produced results. The searching and longing does end. Peace does exist and for me and it is today and hopefully tomorrow. Those decades of searching and struggling are finally over. My old “less than” mentality has moved on. Obviously hardships are still to come, on any given day life can get intense and break a man. What is given can be taken away in an instant, but embracing the struggle has worked for me in the past. I can sleep soundly knowing that I have a lifetime of ammunition to cope and my realized dream here in spectacular Manuel Antonio, surrounded by an amazingly diverse community of people, is as good as it gets. I hope everyone reading this, from locals to travelers, can find strength to push on to achieve whatever is inspirational to them. If you already have it please spread more joy and peace to help others that need it. Welcome to rainy season, let’s get outdoors and enjoy each other.

(Todd Pequeen is a 24 year massage therapist that wants to put his hands on you. Text him or call him at: 506-8830-7727. E-mail: [email protected]. Website: He has a tree top home studio or will come directly to you.)