Memoirs of a MasseurTodd Pequeen



In my past I have lived out of a van. My tent has also been my home next to a lazy Colorado River. In my future I hope to again have my bed, kitchen, and living area in five meters of space. For the bathroom I had to exit and walk to an old-school out house, a simple hole in the ground. Other than that, everything I needed was in that van, or set up, around my tent. Upon my return to Manuel Antonio my house, car, and possessions weighed me down. I don’t mean they bummed me out, I am thankful for the material things I have. Rather, I feel my time spent dealing with everything, organizing stuff, requires time away from something I grew fond of while on the road…boredom. Amazing boredom. I mean exactly that, boredom became a comfort and with luck, will be a friend for life after my final adventure. I am no monk but for my almost fifty-two years simplicity, peace, and contentment come to me easier through the release of material items, responsibilities, and “to-do” lists. Tedious repetition of nothing exciting can cause uncommonly vivacious results.

Sitting and cutting through my thoughts is as special as the wildlife I saw while living outdoors. The ever-random experiences I had with the people I’d run into for whatever the reason seemed much more genuine. I’ve done this before in a way, found solitude and great inner peace, but I always used breathing or the physical body as a focus, the center. I used to be a distance runner and finding that neutral zone through the rhythm of my strides had always been easy for me. Now I feel like those conditions was just mental luggage that I somehow needed to hold onto. I was “here” trying to concentrate on something “there”. That, it seems to me now, was goal orientated. Without a journey one cannot get to a goal. To have no goals, no journeys, no direction and no plan on awakening, I find to be very calming, transcending even. Simply to be mindful of what was happening was different than how I behaved in the past. Nothing was happening, it was absolutely boring. I didn’t do anything at times and had nothing to e-mail my friends about, or to talk about when I contacted my family. My journal even sat latent. My previous expectations (because of money matters, weather, and the pre-determined length of the journey) were challenged and forced me into days of sitting in the van or staring at a tree, river, or the infinite sky. That, I am ever thankful for! It seems to me now that my patience and the finite space created a “cooling down” of my previous self. Being removed from my normal routine, and having boredom mixed with repetition, I found a new sense of self. In no way was it militant or rigid, like arriving at a monastery in Asia would be. It happened as an afterthought, and until writing about it now, I would have had a hard time discussing the process. How beautiful, and fortunate, to have arrived at this point with such little effort.

I get asked over and over by visitors every week, particularly during my massage practice, what should they do while they are here. In the past I would jokingly tell them simply to book another massage! This year I have had a new answer for them. Try to find boredom. Sit on one of our beautiful beaches, find a quiet spot at the pool, and do nothing. Put the book down and turn the music off, don’t worry about where the next meal will be. It shouldn’t matter what is happening next. Seek out boredom like it IS the reason for coming here, because I bet your life at home rarely can have this activity. I don’t believe one has to be in a van for two months to benefit from this underappreciated action, but I do know it can produce surprising results. I remember complaining to my mother as a child, “I’m bored, there is nothing to do.” I am elated to have found a new hobby and will never be bored again. Explore this amazing country by allowing it to show you exactly what you need.

Todd Pequeen is a pioneer of body work here in M.A. since 2000. He can be reached via WhatsApp or a phone call at (506) 8830-7727, or at [email protected], or check out his website at