Memoirs of a MasseurTodd Pequeen

Sadness, Love, Openness

I woke up and cried this morning. It really wasn’t more than my eyes watering, perhaps a tear or two escaped. When I wake I often take ten minutes to set my intentions for the day, to reflect, to simply enjoy sunrise (my favorite time of day). I open the glass slider door onto my porch, I am fortunate to live among nature, and stretch out while slowly waking to a new day. I sometimes water the garden, sometimes not, I try to let the day unravel itself, for some will be more challenging than others. Then I, like most people, turn my attention to the computer. On this particular day I went straight for YouTube and typed in “motivational speeches.” I sat down on an outdoor rocking chair and listened. That’s when my eyes teared up. The man speaking to me through the computer lectured on the power of dreaming big, of bounty in the universe, and of the power of passion. He told a tale about life and it being, in its truest sense, feeling like a dream when everything is aligned. That is what made me cry. The feeling of gratitude as strong as the sun’s rays soon to come. My witty wife walked by me thirty seconds later with a “no shit Sherlock,” referring to the last statement the voice lectured on. “If you wake up angry you affect the people around you.” I turned to her and explained that I was just crying from the happiness I have for this moment, for today, for the love in our lives. We had a big laugh and an awesome hug and I put the coffee on. I was prepping for a 5 hour massage day and had to get ready to go and spread some more love. It was great and positive morning.

Very few things in life have value that aren’t earned. If it comes quick and easy it’s probably quite disposable. As the “high season” ends and the rains return to Manuel Antonio, year after year I am sent into a state of reflection and goal setting for the months to come. Self-sacrifice, flipping my everyday routine, vacation plans and starting a new hobby always come to mind this time of year and I am curious to why that is. Perhaps it is more free time in my day, maybe it is the change of weather, but what exactly is the impetus and why is it so profound in April year after year? It is deliciously refreshing to live a life not for the weekends, holidays, and vacations in a year, but rather by the routine set by the ebb and flow of tourism. I have not have seen my immediate family for Thanksgiving or Christmas in 19 years, but I do see them for a month or two every Autumn. I prefer traveling and visiting loved ones when they are not on holidays, when I can get a glimpse into my sisters’ or my parents’ every day routines. When there are no special meals planned, or no customs to be followed, I believe more true intimacy can be had.

In the last few years I have explored purposely changing my routine, it’s fun to exercise my free will that way. With no kids or pets in my life I still cling to the beauty of freedom, similar to how I felt at university. I prove to myself that I can change almost anything around me…my physical, my mental, and my emotions. Who doesn’t want to experiment with the possibly of becoming a better human if they have the chance? I do, and although it takes work and discipline, the benefits far outweigh the effort. In just a few short days I can feel a tangible difference in my energy, happiness, and ability to share when I let old habits die and invent new and improved ones. Whether you are in a place of joy or suffering in your life April is a great month to simply try something new. Walk away from the herd mentality and get inspired to do something admirable. Be great for yourself. Get weekly massages, set a physical goal, decide to read a book a week for 4 weeks (a habit quickly going extinct)! No matter what your demands are there is plenty of time in our day for just 10 minutes of whatever you choose. Start slow, underestimate yourself, and the month will pass with ease. Who knows, you might even cry from happiness at your own achievements.

Massage Todd is a 19 year local who is addicted to massaging people every day. He surfs, reads, writes, and tries to keep his famous photographer wife Sarah Yunker, at, happy and inspired. Todd can be reached at 8830-7727 or at [email protected] or on FB.